Book 1 - Chapter 12 - Uncertain

ALERT:  I'm experimenting in POVs. I look at this blog as a place to experiment so... this post will be in third person limited Mila POV. If that confuses you, I AM sorry but I'm a fledgling writer and have yet to find out what POV I'm most comfortable with.

23 September 1000

~ Abandoned Building~

  It was the third night since that man had shaken Mila's entire world. Each night since she had sat, wherever she was, and thought. Never did the subject of her anxiety change. Her chest heaved as her heart pounded thinking again on what Wisp had said. Nobody dared disturb the young woman. She fingered her hair, it was growing out again, almost long enough to push into an elegant bun.  In a few weeks it would be possible to look the part of heir. Mila sighed, craning her neck to look higher, up to the stars, through the window.

 Her lips trembled and her dress itched. Her body felt limp as her mind played over her encounter with Wisp, of what it felt like to kill someone. Her entire body shuddered.
The door behind her smacked open. Mila turned to see who it was. Tink stood in the open doorway blocking out the moonlight. Mila's mouth turned into a desert. The girl tried to swallow to dispel the feeling but couldn't. Fingers gripped knees and she waited.

Tink made her way around the chair until she stood before the girl hoped to be the next queen.
"Are you still fretting away all alone?"
she asked. Mila shrugged, her face giving her away. She knew it did... could feel the worry lines across her lips and forehead. There was no way Tink wouldn't notice. Anyone with sight could tell what she was thinking without much doubt.

"You really shouldn't be! What's there to worry about, hun? If you don't like killing that's fine, we'll put you on  with our physician."
Mila nodded her eyes turned down and her lips were pressed tight together. The thick knot in her stomach loosened. Tink had no idea what she was so indecisive about.
"Look, I don't have time to be guessing all over the place. What's wrong?"
 Tink asked. Mila stared up at Tink her arms going out in a large shrug. Tink would strap her to a horse and cart her around if she knew what she was thinking!
"I don't know."

"You do so know! Now spill it, girlie. I'm not your mother and I won't act like one, I'll get it out of you one way or another."
Mila stared into her lap. She wondered how truthful to be. Tink would feel a bald lie, if she did lie it would have to be somewhat truthful. She might as well tell the truth and get it over.
"Am I doing the right thing, fighting? Should I be hiding out so that I'm sure to stay alive?"
she asked.
Tink stared her, eyes a tiny bit wider than usual.
"Are you thinking of running away?"
Tink asked. She had a hint of anger in her voice.
"Not running.. preventing a civil war if I die."
 Tink grabbed the younger woman's arm, tight. She leaned in close until her face was six inches from Mila's face.
"You'll die when God wishes it not before. If He wants you to die you'll die no matter where you are."
Tink backed away her face twisted to the extenet that Mila had no idea what she was feeling.
"That man said-"
Tink's hand lashed out. It hit the side of Mila's face with a solid smack.
"Don't repeat that man's lies! He must be an enemy, trying to have you give up. Well, I won't let you,"
Tink yelled.
"I just want to do what is best for the majority of the people. I'm so confused,"
A tear slipped out and down. Tink's lips went out, her eyes softened around the corners.

"I'm sorry. I guess I don't think like you do, I think of just the rebels. You, you have to think of a lot more than just us, don't you?"
she asked her hands fluttered. Mila nodded.
"You have no idea,"
she whispered. The feeling of all those depending on her pressed down hard on Mila no matter the time of day or where she was. Ever it shoved her down toward the ground like so many stones tied about her waist.
"I never know if I'm doing right or wrong and now..."
Mila's eyes moved to the window. She took in the night sky, starts twinkling high above, the moon full and bright.
"How can I decide things when what I do will be reflected on thousands of people's lives?"
Tink stared at the girl. Astonishment flushed across then uncertainty.
"I don't know what to say,"
she said. Mila chuckled.
"First time not knowing?"
she whispered.

Tink sighed and curled her fingers around Mila's.
"Yep. I always seem to have myself something to say."
 Mila squeezed then pulled her hands away from Tink.
"What am I going to do?"
she asked. Tink bit her lip.
"I want you to stay with us, as does Los."
She turned and faced the window. Mila could see only her back.
"I'll help you do whatever you think is best though."
Her back rippled and became straighter. Mila sat, thinking her choices over.
"There are more labis than district chiefs. I think... I think that even if the chiefs wished to war that the labis would refuse to fight. I will continue this fight,"
Mila whispered. She sighed. The choice was made, there was no more to worry over other than moving forward.
Tink said nothing, only looked out the large window into the deepening darkness.