Book 1 - Chapter 6 - Mistake

  I blink at the mirror beside the door. I still grin when I see my new look.
Is it really me? My hair has been shorn like a boy's. I still wear the dresses I purchased.

  Two weeks of hard training had forced the cut. Long hair only got in the way when fighting. Now, I can say, I have a basic knowledge of knife skills and hand-to-hand combat.
My stomach rumbles, it reminds me of my mission: food.
Los has been gone all morning. He claims the need to assess his spies. Hopefully, before the night is over, news will be had.
My stomach cannot wait that long to eat. The innkeeper is out visiting her Mam and I know not how to cook a thing.

 Down one alley way then another I run. Blisters on my feet burst open. I slow to a walk. Ahead is the market. Already I can smell fresh baked bread.
"Take that!"
I speed my steps. From a distance I can see a woman, is she kicking that man?

 I halt behind the man.
She is kicking him! And again!
I gasp.
"What's going on here?"
I yell.
The woman screams a single word:
"Spy!"
Fear embeds itself.

 He turns to me and throws a punch.
I lean back. He misses by a literal inch. I put up my hands and take up stance.
"How rude of you, attacking a bystander!"
I yell.
He shakes his head, a look of confusion passes over him.

 No thought.
My leg pops out from my hip.
It swings hard straight to his chest.
I hear the crack of bone.

 He is falling. His body thumps to the ground.
My foot hits the ground a moment after his body. What have I done?
I can no longer smell the bread or butcher shop. The girl kneels beside him.

 "He's dead,"
she whispers.

 I glance at his crest. Then stare.
It is the black stallion. He is .... an ally.

Tanri, forgive me!
My hands tremble.
I have killed a man. A murderer is what that is called.
"I... he..."
No clear words fall out of my mouth.

"He asked so many questions... I just thought-"
the woman stops speaking.
She gulps. I nod.
"I understand. I'm the one that kicked him too hard,"
I say.
She smiles, just a little bit.
"Thank you."
I put a hand to her shoulder while forcing myself to appear calm.
"You did what you thought was right. Ask Tanri to forgive you then you may move on."
 I walk away. Why can't I follow my own words? Guilt builds up higher inside me. Like a dam almost overflowing I do not wish to eat for fear of overflowing.
 Why did I just do this terrible thing?
My stomach churns. I fight back the urge to get sick.
Because, I tell myself, I have been so caught up in training that I have forgotten the reason I train in the first place.