Book 1 - Chapter 8 - Feverish

May 10, 1000

 

Hot. For days I had been too hot for words. Writhing under a single light blanket, sweating so much my body seemed to run out of water entirely.

It is passed. I look over out camp, unsure what the next move will be.

Most have dark bags under their eyes, a souvenir left over. Some have broken lips from where they bit them while ill. All are weak and hobble around camp in slow motion.

Standing by a tent is the captain, Tink. She is tall, strong, and considerate, in an off-hand way.

She acts like it is nothing to help a soul when they are in need. So unlike the aurate, she is. They, if helping at all, feel the need to ensure all about them realize how helpful they are.

See!

Even now she is giving fresh water to a recently recovered lad. It is the last of the water, I can tell from where I sit.

Our water has been drained by all of us with fever.

Only two people in the entire camp have not been ill. They say that this fever can only be caught once and that they had it as babes.

If only we had all caught it as babies and then recovered with little memory of it!

“We move on in the morning,”
Tink says.

Her voice is dry, she needs water, as we all do.

“Are you sure?”
one man asks.

I have yet to learn his name.

“Yes. We can’t put off our duties any more, even if we are ill and dying. Worse comes to worst we can pass this fever on to the enemy.”

A smile cracked her lips. Her sunken eyes stare at us all.

We nod.

In the morning we move out, whether we feel up to it or not. I stand. My bones ache. I wince. I glance at my arms. The rash has receded until you cannot notice it unless you look very closely in certain patches.

“Will we get in trouble for the delay?”

A man says. His name, I think, is Kiw.

He is brown haired and eyed, and tan.

“Nope. It wasn’t our fault, in the least.”
She nods.

Her hand waves.

Tink returns to her tent.

I look around.

The entire team look lost. Alone, unsure, and above everything else- ill.

Why did Los send me here? I have done nothing but thrash about in a delirium. How can that possibly help anyone?

I must be honest. I do not wish to be here. I feel clumsy and useless even when feeling well. What used to be well trained is now childish in level.

If I get in a fight the chances of me dying are high.

“Mila, isn’t it?”

A girl asks.

I glance up.

Her face is familiar… I cannot place it with a name. I stand and move to her.

“Are you better today?”

She asks.

I nod.

Her face is not pretty. It is ugly. Her nose too large as is her mouth. Eyes too small and squinty. Her clothing claims her to be a merchant or living in a merchant family.

The girl carries herself as one who knows she is not desirable. Her head remains hung down, eyes averted.

“What is your name?”

I ask.

She shrugs.

“It isn’t important. I’m merely the baker’s daughter.”
That is it!

This young woman is the one who brings in fresh breads. At least, she does, Tink says, when we are close enough to the village.

“You are very brave to come to us, like you do,”
I say.

She dares to glance into my face.

“Not really.”

I long to put my arms around her shoulders and hug her. Do her parents tell her Tanri loves her as she is? Are they careful to not say negative things about her looks?

“Do you not find me monstrous?”

She whispers. 

I look away.

 The expression... so pained!

"I knew it! You think me horribly ugly, like all do!"
Her face twisted into a grimace. Her hands curled like those monsters depicted in our fairy tales.

"I had best get going! Tanri upon you!"
she says.

I put up a hand to stop her.

"No, I don't think that!"

"Liar! Why would you like me as I am, nobody else does. I hear you move away in the morning. I'm just that happy. Then I won't have to make this 'orrible hike out here."
She turns away.

Her shoes make little sound on the grass as she marches off.

I did not even get her name or anything else about her... if only she had stayed a moment longer!

How can I lead people, someday, if I cannot even get a single girl to pause long enough to hear me?

"You going to help pack up, tiny?"
Kiw asks.

He looks over Yina's shoulder.

"Coming."
 I turn away from the view of the girl's back.

"Tomorrow the real journey begins. I hear Tink plans on sending you undercover,"
he says.

I gasp.

Me? 

Undercover?
"Why?"
I ask.

He grins.

"She says you know the most of any about the Ging."
 I bite my already bitten lip. Fresh blood spills over my newly cracked open lip.
"Oh, not ready for that yet? You did know that Tink is the best of the best? As are we. You gotta go above and beyond when on this team."

I nod and help him pack things. Others join in the moment they see we have started. Shirkers are soon punished here.

Yet- undercover? What happened to me being protected? For sure, it sounds like the most dangerous spot to be in.

I see her reasoning. I have been to Ging, once. They speak as I do, rich, as people here would call it.

They are all well educated. Can I do it?

Is Tanri testing me? Should I refuse? 

My courage, I feel, is flooding out of me.

What of that girl?